i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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