my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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