Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
