I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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