did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
