Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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