That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
