k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
