It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
