for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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