I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
