I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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