Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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