Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize