I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
