i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the day after is always just damage control
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
