i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
