don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
