So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
