She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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