i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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