woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
