my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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