He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
