considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
