I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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