I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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