Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
