I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
