The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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