singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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