Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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