The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
