am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
