his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
