Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
