ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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