if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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