Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
