I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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