Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
