No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
