He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My dick has a subreddit
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
