So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
