So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
