My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
