he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
