It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
