my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
can u get pink eye on your cock?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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