im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
