I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
