Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize