Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
