Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We had to coat check the pizza.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
