My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
