I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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