At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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