we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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