Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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