The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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