you guys were way drunker than both of me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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