i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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