when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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