I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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