so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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