it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
