We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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