you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
