dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
