AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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